The power of love

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already that I am working in personal development.

Times flies by, I can’t believe sometimes so far, I have come from. I have learned many lessons, most of them the hard way (cause that’s always the best way you learn).

Aaaaand it’s also a good lesson to realize that I still have a lot to learn. The work with yourself never ends. When you think you had solved an issue, another one pop.

Today I just want to talk about the hard lesson I have been learning since I am in Miami.

The opposition between love and fear.

These two elements are in our lives every day, on us and others. We can’t live without them, but we can choose which one we want to stick with.

Fear is something that can be good for us, it can protect us from making choices that will hurt us. But we need to use just a tiny necessary piece of it otherwise it drives us.

We get scared to do small things, we convince ourselves we can’t do this or that, we don’t do, nothings happen, the fear grows and grows, and it infect everything like a poison.

You are scared to leave a job, a relationship, speak up for yourself, do things alone, make that tattoo, make this trip, take this risk…

It reminds me about the story of the white and black wolves we have inside of us. You choose to feed one of them and then face the consequence.

Fear it’s the same: the more you feed it the more it expands, and you can feel paralyzed to do anything. Not a nice way to live.

From what I have learned from my experiences and my coaching session with Daniele (http://www.enrichissezvotrevie.com/) is that there is no space in our hearts for both. Love can’t exist if there is fear and vice & versa.

You want love in your life? You have to think love on every of your actions so it will spread like a magical energy. It’s the only thing that should guide any of our act and thought.

We all want to have a life in which we will feel happy, safe, useful, passionate and be remembered.

I don’t remember who said that but it’s true: people can forget your name, how they met you, what you did or said but they will never forgive how you made them feel.

The effect that you have on others is the thing that has most value in this world.

All what you will leave behind you when you die is what was in your heart.

I know I want to love and be loved, I want to energize people, motivate them to take risks, show them what’s possible, inspire and lead. The effects of love around us are tangible and concrete, you can see love every day in very small details, but it is there.

You have the right to be who you want, live your life the way you want and ask the universe (or your god) what you want. But to do so, live in peace and love you need to quit fear along the way.

Let’s more love guide ourselves, our world can be pretty amazing and better if we all put some effort into it. Let’s shine and love.

 

The Why

I am huge believer of the benefits of coaching.

Coaches are life markers, life savers, they help us buy guiding us through the hard times in our lifes.

I have a personal trainer, a personal development coach, I had a coach to find a job in the US. Hell, if I had more money, I would have a business coach, a nutritionist, etc… I make these investments on myself because if I don’t nobody will do it for me. And if I don’t believe in me well who will?

There is no shame in needing help. We don’t hold the truth, we are not wise enough to handle everything by ourselves.

From my various experiences it’s a very interesting and learning experience to have a coach.

Think about it, that person helping you is so passionate about a topic, that they turned it into a job. It’s always good to have an outside perspective on your situation and somebody to be accountable to.

Recently I have been reading different articles and worked on with my personal development coach (her website is here) about the WHY.

It’s an interesting time of the year to speak about it. We are all making new resolutions and goals for the year.

And I think one of the many reasons we don’t follow through is because our Why is not stronger or precise enough.

It’s extremely important because it applies to all the areas of our life.

Why do you want this job?

Why do you want to build this project on your free time?

Why do you want a house?

Why do you run?

Why do you want this relationship?

Why do you want to move abroad?

Why do you want to have a family?

Why does this matter to you?

These are the few questions I had on my mind the past couples of years and got me where I am today. It took me months or years to work on them. Some of them have been changing a lot. Some are still a work in progress. But because my Why was and is strong, true to myself and my values, I have been able to pursue and achieve my goals.

If your Why is not strong enough and doesn’t match your values and your core, you won’t be able to lose your extra pounds, start your company, make that trip, take the risk of having this relationship. You won’t be able to make the things that really make you happy and give your life a meaning. You will just keep moving forward very sad and frustrated.

Errors, trials and failures are part of the process. It will happen over and over again until you adapt yourself. But you won’t stand your obstacles and get to where you want, if you don’t have your why and your finale vision.

When you add up all your whys, you have a good vision of what a life of meaning is for you so it’s easier (not easy, easier) to work towards it.

Yes, it’s hard to define your why (that’s where the coach is good for you) and it’s something that can change over the time. Don’t forget to work on it, dream of it and make it grow with you.

The why is what helps you get up in the morning, stay awake late at night, makes you stay home to work for yourself, choose that food, change this relationship, start meditating…

The why is what allows you to keep going when you have a hard time, the dream, the biggest picture. The why is that feeling that you have in your gut that makes you get up when you are down.

With that being said, what is your why?