The downside of social media

I am young (27) so I kinda grew up with social media. Because we are the first generation actually living with these things, we don’t measure yet the consequences into our mental health. These tools can get us incredible life opportunities and meet people from around the world. But it can also cause feelings on loneliness, fear of missing out, lack of confidence, low self esteem and self worth, etc…

I want to talk today about the story of a fitness mom that I have been following on Instagram for more than 4 years. The girl is (was) freaking killing it: married, 4 kids, several businesses, cooking, having a beautiful house/car, waking up at 4am to work out, bikini competing internationally. A dream life, work hard life, but beautifully sold on Insta, FB; Snapchat and her website. A couple of weeks ago, big surprise, the bubble explode: we saw her crying on her Instagram stories. Turns out the perfect shiny life wasn’t so perfect: complete burnout from working too much 6 to 7 days a week, lack of sleep and energy, lawsuit, one business to sell and a marriage on couple therapy. 

The lesson ? Now that things are negative in her life, she doesn’t want to share more and she is literally begging people for privacy. But it’s hard for the public to get that. For years we saw everything, from the wedding to the pregnancy, the kids growing up, the training and make up routines, the cooking and decoration of the house, the travels and the shopping…Everything, content every single day. 

What can be wrong with that ? Once you start to tell everything to people, they feel entitled to ask everything. 

It’s hard for her to back up now and protect her intimacy. I am not judging, just observing a fact.

My point is that nobody is perfect. We all need to learn how to use these tools, between sharing and not sharing, and what kind of content. If we choose to share everything, we need to be willing to accept all what is going to come with it. People making inappropriate comments, bullying, harassments… the list goes on. It can get so terribly wrong that some people kill themselves after horrible experiences through social media.  

As a user you can see on the comment sections how a conversation can quickly escalade to strangers insulting each other. Being behind a screen makes us forget that we are talking to human beings with feelings.

I myself still trying to find balance with the content I share, especially on FB and Insta. I have goals, I want to use social media as a tool to grow an audience and share with people.

But if I do it a certain way, it can really backlasch on me and produce the exact opposite effect of what I want.

The only thing that I didn’t do and don’t think I will do is share about my relationship with my partner. It’s already hard enough to have a relationship and take care of your partner. You always receive some negative comments about family and friends. But exposing it to the world and thousands of strangers that are going to make comments just based on pictures… for what ? Get some likes on an unrealistic picture with the hashtag #relationshipgoal

My goal is to feel good and make the ones around feel good too. What we see in social media is just a tiny percentage of what we are and what we do. We can so easily manipulate it, it makes me dizzy. 

Note to myself for the future: put more effort and consciousness about what I share and why.