The performance race

Lately I have been feeling really exhausted and unmotivated about…pretty much everything.

I have this type of personality that when I face a difficulty I tend to think that I have failed at everything in all aspects of my life.

I have always had a big tendency to feel the need to control all my life and I have no patience, or very little.

So when I plan on achieving a goal, I get frustrated if it doesn’t happen in the timeframe that I set for myself.

The result ? Mental and physical exhaustion.

I am so hard on myself and have expectations that are so high that I have succeed to produce the total opposite effect of what I wanted to do : not achieve my goal.

In practical terms what does it mean ? I have lost appetite and want to eat more crap; my sleep is a disaster (I wake up several times at night); I have very low energy, my training has lost its quality and intensity; I don’t read/watch videos/ listen to podcast that much…

Worst aspect of all, I became a huge pain in the ass for all the people surrounding me, especially my partner (sweetie if you read this I am sorry, I am working on it).

I am learning the hard way that life is not a competition. Despite the society we live in and the subconscious rules that are forced upon us. So it’s time I stop banging my head on the wall I built with unrealistic factors.

I don’t have to be productive EVERY single day, I can’t be on the top of the world in all aspects of my life all the time.

I am trying hard to get better at expressing myself, live my life with passion and increase the quality of my relationships. But that’s the work of a life.

We live in a world of performance and I am feeling this way harder since I live in the US.

But it doesn’t have to be my case. I choose the way I react to everything and how I make my life.

Since I am in Miami I see a lot of people chasing money and working several jobs at the same time for multiple reasons. They aren’t millionaires and they aren’t more happy with their life.

I think life is trying to teach me a lesson: slow down, enjoy and make things happen in your own terms.

I need to get back passion in my life and reduce the pressure I am putting in myself. From today I am going to stop trying to full my days. Being busy from 7am to 11pm with 100 tasks doesn’t make me a better human being. Sleep more, have better food and especially, take more meaningful things to my life, personally and professionally.

I am setting myself 2 or 3 goals per month, write them down on my phone and putting them on the fridge. Achievable goals that aren’t going to stress me more.

I have 3 big goals for a year from now, we will see how it goes. I will probably have to adjust along the way.

My point today: don’t let the world AND yourself eat your personality and joie de vivre.

The power of love

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already that I am working in personal development.

Times flies by, I can’t believe sometimes so far, I have come from. I have learned many lessons, most of them the hard way (cause that’s always the best way you learn).

Aaaaand it’s also a good lesson to realize that I still have a lot to learn. The work with yourself never ends. When you think you had solved an issue, another one pop.

Today I just want to talk about the hard lesson I have been learning since I am in Miami.

The opposition between love and fear.

These two elements are in our lives every day, on us and others. We can’t live without them, but we can choose which one we want to stick with.

Fear is something that can be good for us, it can protect us from making choices that will hurt us. But we need to use just a tiny necessary piece of it otherwise it drives us.

We get scared to do small things, we convince ourselves we can’t do this or that, we don’t do, nothings happen, the fear grows and grows, and it infect everything like a poison.

You are scared to leave a job, a relationship, speak up for yourself, do things alone, make that tattoo, make this trip, take this risk…

It reminds me about the story of the white and black wolves we have inside of us. You choose to feed one of them and then face the consequence.

Fear it’s the same: the more you feed it the more it expands, and you can feel paralyzed to do anything. Not a nice way to live.

From what I have learned from my experiences and my coaching session with Daniele (http://www.enrichissezvotrevie.com/) is that there is no space in our hearts for both. Love can’t exist if there is fear and vice & versa.

You want love in your life? You have to think love on every of your actions so it will spread like a magical energy. It’s the only thing that should guide any of our act and thought.

We all want to have a life in which we will feel happy, safe, useful, passionate and be remembered.

I don’t remember who said that but it’s true: people can forget your name, how they met you, what you did or said but they will never forgive how you made them feel.

The effect that you have on others is the thing that has most value in this world.

All what you will leave behind you when you die is what was in your heart.

I know I want to love and be loved, I want to energize people, motivate them to take risks, show them what’s possible, inspire and lead. The effects of love around us are tangible and concrete, you can see love every day in very small details, but it is there.

You have the right to be who you want, live your life the way you want and ask the universe (or your god) what you want. But to do so, live in peace and love you need to quit fear along the way.

Let’s more love guide ourselves, our world can be pretty amazing and better if we all put some effort into it. Let’s shine and love.